


Pray You Catch Me

by SarahWritesThings



Series: "Extreme Risk" [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Depression, Drabble, Episode: s05e03 Extreme Risk, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:23:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18598756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahWritesThings/pseuds/SarahWritesThings
Summary: Light trigger warning for self harm/depression.





	Pray You Catch Me

_Pray you catch me._

She hadn’t known why she made the program exactly, at the time, she had just wanted to _know_. To know what she missed by getting thrown across the galaxy. Rationally she knew that if she had been in the Delta Quadrant, she probably would have been killed along with the rest of the Maquis. She should be glad she hadn’t been.

Watching her friends be killed by Cardassian soldiers had been…raw. She had been overwhelmed by the wave of emotions, simple and complex and had left the program as fast as she had entered it.

_Pray you catch me._

It had started innocuously enough. She had forgotten to engage the safety features properly during the coupler realignment, and Voyager had reminded her through an electric shock through her arm.

It had been quick and sudden. One moment she was forcing her mind on the task at hand, the next her arm stung with the residual charge. It was hours later, when her nerves had finally calmed, that she found herself missing the sting.

The next evening she found herself in the holodeck, nursing a turned ankle after a four kilometer run on very uneven terrain.

The Doctor hadn’t asked how she had gotten hurt.

_Pray you catch me._

The advantage of being Chief Engineer was that no one questioned her use of the holodeck in the middle of the night, she had been known for working out engineering problems at odd hour. But the middle of the night had quickly turned into before her shift, or after her shift, and whenever the holodeck was open. Her excuses ranged, each less convincing than the last, until her colleagues and friends stopped asking why she was so busy.

_Pray you catch me._

After it was all over, after they had saved the probe and made it back to Voyager in one piece, B’Elanna had been ordered to go to her quarters and get some rest. Twenty minutes later Tom had arrived, and seeing the look in his eyes, B’Elanna hadn’t asked him to leave.

They had talked a bit, speculating on the amount of repairs that would need to be done to their new shuttle and how it could be improved even further, dancing around recent events. Tom had fallen asleep on the couch around 0300, but B’Elanna could no such respite.

By the time the computer woke Tom for Alpha shift, her tears had long since dried.

_Pray you catch me._

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this was completely inspired by Beyonce's "Pray You Catch Me" before I had actually listened to the song and figured out it was about infidelity. I just love the conflicts and twisted it to serve my angsty purposes.


End file.
